Sigmund the Sorcerer/Transcript
start by seeing a close-up of a picture of Sigmund. Fanboy: voiceover Oh, man! now show him and Chum Chum. The picture turned out to be an ad that Sigmund the Sorcerer is in town ''I can't believe we're actually gonna meet..Sigmund the Sorcererrrrr! 'Chum Chum:' I hope he does lots of sorcerer-y and magic-ic. ''he says this, he waves his hand over his face making a clown nose appear like magic. He does it again, and his normal nose returns everyone outside [[Tricks & Giggles]. There is a banner depecting the event. Suddenly, Kyle walks by] Kyle: This is a very long queue for the novelty shop. What are they, giving out free samples of fake doo-doo? giggles Oz: Uh, apparently, you're getting your news from somewhere other than my blog. We are waiting for the most legendary tween wizard of all time... Fanboy: Sigmund, the Sorcerer. Chum Chum: A magic-ician. Kyle: frantic Sigmund? Here? That gives me just enough time to disappear. turns around and runs away. Suddenly, thunder goes off, making him halt. A portal opens up, releasing pink smoke. A cloud version of Sigmund stands in front of Kyle. The crowd is amazed. Oz: It's him, It's him! Cloud Sigmund: Wrong, Ze real Sigmund is over zere. a puff of smoke, the real Sigmund appears. The mob turns around and sees him, floating above the ground Oz: It's him, it's him! Sigmund: You've been dazzled, By Sigmund Ze Sorcerer! gasps Oz: Ok, my mind is seriously freaked. a result, his brain screams inside his head and faints Cloud Sigmund: Zank you, zank you. You're too kind. Sigmund: Kvit showboating, Vait for me in ze trailer. a fan to blow his cloud twin away Now Sigmund vill be available for ze signing uf ze DVDs und officially licensed merchan-dazzle. he says this, Sigmund poofs up various knickknacks resembling him as different things. Everyone runs up to greet him, except Kyle Kyle: Sigmund Ooh, Sigmund the Sorcerer. He's even more full of himself than when we were at Milkweed Academy together. Fanboy and Chum Chum come out of the mob and greet Kyle Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp You know Sigmund? Kyle: I'm afraid so. And let me tell you... use Kyle to knock the crowd out of the way and put him in front of Sigmund Fanboy and Chum Chum: Simultaneously Watch out! Coming through! A-list coming through! Move, sister! Kyle: He means only to make others feel sad about themselves. And I hope to never lay eyes upon him again! Chum pulls his eyelids open Oh, hello, look who it is, the boys off his head Hello Sigmund. Sigmund: Vell, it isn't Kyle Ze Constipater. Kyle: You know perfectly well it's Kyle The Conjurer. clear their throats Fanboy: Kyle, introduce us. Kyle: So, this is - cut Kyle off and introduce them to Sigmund. Sigmund isn't pleased Fanboy: I'm Fanboy, this is Chum Chum. Love your work. We watch your tv show every week! That Halloween Special, where you carved a pumpkin with your mind...ohh! We still talk about it! Chum Chum: Could I...get your autograph? Sigmund: You already haff it, check ze insides uf your eyelids. Chum Chum:'' eyes to see Sigmund's autograph Ooh whoa! I'll never open my eyes again. ''walks offscreen. Suddenly, he bangs into something, and a tire bounces past the others Sigmund: So, Kyle, vhat haff you been up to since you vere kicked out uf ze Milkveed Academy for vizards? Kyle: Ooh, where to start?, Well, um, I've had many remarkable achievements. Chum Chum: Yeah, He's the first one to be hung from the flagpole by his braces. to Kyle with his braces hooked on a flagpole hook Fanboy: Which was great, because we were already up there hanging from our underwear. of flashback Fanboy: '''I think that's the day we became best friends, Well, three days. '''Sigmund: Hahahaha, Friends, Ha, Such happy for you. Say, Kyle, I'd love to catch up, Shall ve say, dinner at your place? Kyle: I don't think my place is a good idea, It's a bit cramped. what he said, and fakes it I mean, with trophies and accolades, engraved platters and such. Sigmund: 6 o'clock it is, Dazzle you later. disappears in a cloud of pink sparkles. Fanboy and Chum Chum play with them. We now zoom in on a worried Kyle as the background dissolves to his place Chum Chum: Hey, Kyle, we're ready to hang up the banner. Fanboy: Will your famous friend be coming through the door, or does he prefer to materialize in the center of the room? Kyle: He is not my friend. All he ever cared about was showing me up. I remember one time at Milkweed, it was my birthday. to Milkweed Acadamy, set at one of Kyle's birthday parties Kyle: I invited all my school chums to my party, and Sigmund the Stinker threw a party on the same day - go off from the moon while the other wizards are heard cheering in the distance on the moon! wizards continue to cheer while they spell out "HAPPY WEDNESDAY, SIGMUND!" in the sky. Kyle shrugs angrily of flashback Chum Chum: It's okay, Kyle, you'll have other birthdays. Kyle: I just did. Yesterday. And now he'll come here and see that I'm nobody and I have nothing. Fanboy: laughs Don't be silly, you have us. Kyle: How did you get in here? horn honks, startling the main 3 Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp That's him! Kyle: Wait! He's going to show me up again. I just can't survive that. Chum Chum: Maybe we can help you. Fanboy: Mm-hmm. Kyle: himself Oh, Kyle, I guess you really are that desperate. shifts outside. Kyle walks out the door and sees Sigmund on his griffin Kyle: Ah, Sigmund, You're early and you have your own griffin. Sigmund: It's ze new F class. F is for Ferocious. Kyle: Yes, well, I'll just have my two elf assisants park it for you. come in, wearing elf hats Fanboy and Chum Chum: Yes, Master Kyle, Right away. Fanboy: I'm driving. Sigmund: You haff elves to valet mein griffins, zat's unexpected. Kyle: What's sort of successful wizard would I be, if I didn't have elf assistants? Sigmund: Hmm, But I hope zey know how to drive schtick. walk inside while F&C try to handle the griffin. Cut to Kyle's living room Sigmund: Oh, Kyle, Vhat ein great little hovel. Italic text So tell me, Vhy did you choose to live in zis skvalor? Kyle: Yes, Why did I choose such a shabby dump? F&C out the window and closes the blinds Oh, because it was chosen for me by the young wizards' fellowship grant, Which I won. Sigmund: Really? I happen to be ze chair uf ze young vizards' fellowship board and I don't remember selecting you. Necronomicon: by, excitedly Oh, Sigmund The Sorcerer, Ooh, I've read all your spells, Could you sign my back flap? Kyle: Necronomicon, behave yourself. Sigmund: It's understandable. He's never seen ein real vizard before, hmmm. Necronomicon: Oh, thank you, thank you, You know, my cousin is screenplay. Kyle: That's quite enough! throws Necronomicon out of the scene. F&C come in Fanboy and Chum Chum: Griffin's parked, Master Kyle. Sigmund: Oh, It's about time, I'm famished. Kyle, haff your elves conjure us some dinner, somezing simple, blackened pheasant under glass. Kyle: You know, my elves prepare an exquisite tin of beans. Fanboy: He wants blackened pheansant?, What luck, We parked the griffin next to a flock of pigeons. is surprised. Cut to the dining room. Fanboy places a large covered plate in front of Sigmund, revealing a small blackened pheasant Sigmund: Oh, baby pheasant, How unexpectedly posh. I suppose I could force it down. Ah, Ah-ha, Ah-ha! Kyle: What are you doing? Sigmund: Vhy is mein dinner not serving itself to me? Your house is enchanted, is it not? Kyle: En...chanted? Sigmund: Ja, Enchanted! Teapots zat pours zeir own tea, napkins zat jump into your lap, knives zat cut vizout you holds zem, ENCHANTED!!! Chum Chum: Poor Kyle. We got to enchant things up around here. Fanboy: Oh, I think I got an idea. Kyle: Well, I suppose I could just cut and feed your food to you. the phesant jumps up and moves by itself. Their eyes widen in surprise Fanboy: accent ''I'll take it from here, master kyle, and I'll carve meself just like always. '''Kyle:' up and sees Fanboy controlling it Oh my, look at that marvelous, enchanted bird. Why would anyone want to look anywhere else but Sigmund toward it THERE? Fanboy: accent Light or dark meat, governor? Sigmund: Dark, if you please, vith plenty uf gravy. Chum Chum: Uses a magnet to bring the soup tureen over] Bap, bap. Gravy bowl coming through. Kyle: Oh, uh, seems to be a bit of a magical mix-up. That's my enchanted Chum Chum under the table''soup tureen! ''[Chum Chum continues to bring things over until he reaches the gravy Kyle: Enchanted butter dish! Enchanted pickle fork! Enchanted braces. There we are. Enchanted gravy. Ahoy! a bell Sigmund: Vell, it seems you haff enchanted zings after all. Kyle: Make sure you save room for dessert. I may have a don't make your own sundae bar. Sigmund: You know, Kyle, I must say, I'm fery impressed vith you. Kyle: Sips Really? Sigmund: You seem to haff it all: Enchanted poultry, charming vorking-class gravy bowl. Fanboy: And don't forget his servant -- ahem-- accent And don't forget his servants. Kyle: I'd be lost without these two. Sigmund: Lost, huh?, Sell zem to me. Kyle: What? Sigmund: Let's cut right to ze schnitzel, I'ff never been comfortable vith ze idea uf you being happy, So, I vish to buy your beloved servants. Kyle: Well, well, so Kyle the constipater finally has something the great Sigmund wants. Well tough toads, They're not for sale. Sigmund: I'll get you readmitted to Milkveed. Kyle: surprised Really? Sigmund: I'm on ze board. Hehe. Kyle: Sold! I'll just go pack, Shall I? exits Fanboy: Then that means? Sigmund: You are Sigmund's new D.I.T.s, Dazzlers In Training. are excited Chum Chum: I'm gonna do sorcerery. Sigmund: Ja, vell, Shall ve begin your training? Kyle: Off to Milkweed, with a suitcase full of lifelong dreams and sweater vests. to a halt What are you doing?!? Fanboy: We're already helping Sigmund with a trick, The exploding assistants! Chum Chum: Uh, How much dynamite shall we strapped to ourselves? Sigmund: Use all uf it, Chust go crazy! Kyle: What exactly, is a trick to the exploding assistants? Sigmund: No trick, I'll explode zem, until I get new vones. eyes go wide Elf assistants are dime ze dazzlers aren't zey?, Ok big explosions now und big smiles! pauses for a moment, then realizes something '''Kyle: '''No! Wait! Stop! Category:Transcripts